my flannel is begrudgingly seeing another day
feeling like i need to immediately go to school to become a musician, or better yet, a composer. maybe if i learn how to compose i can better articulate my thoughts on what's happening in the sea outside of gaza right now
can't help but think what my grandmother would say about all of this, i wish i had known her better to be able to remember a tone of her voice, for then i could invent what i'd want her to say and push it through my brain in her voice,
the words fuck and israel are going back and forth like this:
i s r a e l f u c k
far is luck
ick, flares
if ear suck
fuck, israel
i don't know how to say it differently and i don't really even know how i'm jewish, anymore, anyway, if these words weren't playing themselves over and over and the letters stamping themselves behind my eyes then what is going on, is what i am asking.
why can't i just like fashion or something and blog about that, instead of having all of these feelings that i can't change or do anything about
or focus on flannel
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1 comment:
I love what you said here:
"why can't i just like fashion or something and blog about that, instead of having all of these feelings that i can't change or do anything about"
I know how you feel.
Sometimes it would be easier to not even think about things, and therefore not have to feel certain things - I don't know about you, but for me a lot of the time i feel certain things often in result to what I am thinking at that moment - a reaction, realization, or watching the news/learning about Gaza in your case etc.
but on the other hand, I am glad I can feel these certain things, and think certain things, because than I know I am alive I am feeling and living to the fullest.
and it keeps things interesting.
if no one felt strongly about anything, nothing would be changed, even if you do feel rather miniscule. You are in the fight against what's wrong in this world.
I hope you enjoy my rambling.
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