do you all believe in the looking back to old photos and letters and RE doing them within the images in your mind that you remember?  it's all i want to do lately, found a portrait of my mom on her honeymoon and i'm painting it in bright blue and silver and she has long dark hair, like she did but also like she didn't.  

i think what i'm doing here is i'm trying to find some reconciliation between the reality of lived experience and what memory shows us, it's surely an adventure and perhaps i'll have something to show for it along the way, like the time i was putting my pieces of my own photos onto photos of my fathers from when he was young and understood something else, and writing a story about what i was seeing.  i like getting caught up in understanding the past with what i am feeling today but i wonder how much looking back i can do without moving forward, really

i am floating in water in space in an armchair, sleeping soundly and will not hear the waves when they come crashing in on me