Some Things I Have Learned In 2009 (Year of the Crew):

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Grandmothers may not like Chainsaw tattoos, and Chainsaw tattoos may not go over well in Elementary Schools, but Chainsaw tattoos do a lot for the heart.

When your father proves to have a penchant for strangling people and attacking cars with axes, and he disowns you via text message, he just may be a psycho, and it may be just fine to identify as having "Daddy Issues"

Cigarette butts are not biodegradable, it is dumb to have believed that for six or seven years, ever since someone told you and was obviously trying to make fun of you, duh.

The Free Willy song will never be performed again, but it will sing forever in my heart.

I should never ever go on cruises.
Similarly, I should never ever drink Woo-Woos.
And Similarly some more, puking in an outhouse in the Alaskan wilderness really, really sucks.

It is a bad idea to scrub yourself with tumeric when you are very drunk and you have been freak dancing all night and you have some irrational paranoia of having Scabies. Unless you have nothing better to do than be bright yellow.

Irrationally deciding to cut important people you love out of your life is not a good idea.

Making things better with important people you love is a very very good idea.

If you live on tallboys 27s hangoverjunkfood and Performance Drugs, you will definitely in fact totally lose your mind.

Prince and Dolly Parton are still immensely better than anyone else, ever. Duh.

roses and lemon trees and two canaries she sang to

You see that cloud over there? Darius said.

See what?
Where?

The One next to the one that looks like Popcorn.
That one there.
See That.
That's God, Darius said.

God? Somebody little asked.

God, he said,
and made it simple.


- - -

Perez has a slight limp-
He was going as fast as he could-
Perez seemed to be way back there, fading in the shimmering heat - .

For instance: Perez's face:
Big tears tears of frustration, and exhaustion, were streaming down his cheeks.

NO MORE DUANE

SAY NO TO DARK DINER THE REEF

NO

BOOO